It's OK to be Where You Are...
Updated: Sep 26
Anyone else struggling to accept where they are right now? This year has dealt some really tough blows for most of us and I will be the first to admit that I have had a really hard time getting to a healthy and productive headspace with it all. Honesty, my life looks nothing like I want it too at 36 years old and I find it challenging to accept that decisions were made, some good, some not-so-good that ultimately landed me here. Sometimes though, I wonder, isn't that okay? Isn't that the human experience? Social media keeps us thinking that everyone out there is living their best most perfect life. Regardless how smart we are and how, "intellectually" we KNOW everyone has struggles and disappointments, it is difficult not to subscribe to that false belief. The filtered lives of others are so very appealing... they are so shiny.
This week I thought maybe I should try to re-frame what 'shiny' means? Maybe 'shiny' should be those microscopic moments we choose the adaptive decision to drink kombucha instead of a bottle of wine while cooking dinner, or recognizing that you want fast food because you are feeling down about yourself today and you recognize your pattern for self-sabotage. Those are really great insights! Sometimes we might still make the wrong decision, but that is okay. We are learning and gaining knowledge about ourselves to make better decisions tomorrow and that is a big step forward.
Shaming and condemning ourselves for decisions and experiences past are not setting us up to flourish today. So perhaps it is just okay to take a step back, and work on accepting that life is not supposed to be easy, and mistakes are bound to happen but only serve to make us better as long as we let them. And that last part is tricky, it's easy to beat ourselves up but I have rarely seen that motivate me to make better decisions. How about you? Generally, I spiral downward into some really negative patterns of behavior. If it was easy, I would argue we are not pushing ourselves to be better. Being uncomfortable is not necessarily bad, it helps us grow to be stronger and strong feels really, really good. So, let's take a step back from judgement and self-blame this week and recognize where we are and accept that it is ok to be here (wherever that is), and put the effort into learning about ourselves and moving forward toward a better version of ourselves.